Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Mrs. Dad or Mr. Mom....?

OK. Little something outside my normal writing here today. It's been about two months now that Sarah has been (back) in school. I'm extremely proud of her for several reasons. 1. She (we) just had our first baby. Scarlett was about 4 months old when classes began. It was and of course still is hard for her to leave her baby so soon for multiple hours a day. She trusts me taking care of her, but she wishes she was home with her and is very good, and stubborn, about things going her way about Scarlett. 2. Our home has changed. We got pregnant in one home, moved to another, I got sick in that house, came home now with a new baby and soon after moved to a new home. (Ok smarty pants, the house we got pregnant in was ours, I didn't get sick "in" the next house, the new baby was mine and we already had been living there, and then the latest house is my parents:)  3. We are not working, so our income is, well, I try and sell things on on-line garage sales. I'm doing pretty well, but that's obviously about as much fun as it is profitable lol. 4. She takes care of the finances and schedules all the appointments, including my trips to the cities for check-ups, and she is our driver until my feet are better so things like grocery shopping, etc are mainly her responsibility. 4. She takes care of me. I can't do much for chores other than help where I can before I have to at least get off my feet for awhile.
     So yes, with all this crap doing on, we did not have much choice but to move into my parents house. They are awesome and as accommodating as possible. They added 4 people to their house and a cat where they already had a dog and two cats, plus a ton of geese and turtles :) and they personally really haven't missed a beat. They are both retired but they do several things like my Mom helps out at church and the hospital and my Dad is on the School Board and pours a mean drink. (Not there:)
     Now, finally I'm getting to my point; or even my question for any and all of you. How do any of you stay at home daddy's or mommy's work things out? If this were the 1950's I'd be screwed! Since me personally in this case is living in someone else's house, my day to day 'chores' seem strange. In the past I've either been single and taken care or most the chores the best or could or now with Sarah its totally new in our situation. Not only am I NOT working for the first time, I am NOT even ABLE to work. We had agreed earlier while deciding on Sarah's school that she would be a full time student in the tough nursing program and I will be the stay at home Dad. I was all for it. I mean I missed a lot of Ryan's first year of his life, so now for almost a month I had him all day which never happened during the week because I was always at work. Not no more! So I have 2 kids now full time at home with them, and I really honestly enjoy it. I mean I'm basically stuck in the house (can't drive) (in basement)but it still was nice to not be working and being satisfied not working because of my kids! Sarah did, and still has considered dropping out of school to get a full time job, but I tell her not to. I am not sure she really is serious about it but either way, I only think it would be a short term solution for a longer issue for the future. Ryan is in school so he's not home all that much and we have him with a 50/50 custody, Scarlett is almost always with me in the house. Now in my parents house, we sort of have our own 'living area' besides that we share the laundry room and the kitchen, and one space in the garage. My issue is that this is really my first time living this way. I'm not really sure how to 'clean' most of the house as it's not ours. I mean we still have unopened boxes from our move and sharing laundry and the kitchen works, but again it's not mine. Sarah is a really great cook and has her way of making things her way while I mix things together and hope they turn out. Sarah and Ryan get home at different times so we have difficulty setting a supper time. Most of the time Sarah ends up cooking before she does her homework. Am I lazy? Depressed? Physically unable?
     I, personally don't think I'm depressed at all. I am actually enjoying most all of my life (style). But I do sometimes feel lazy. Before I got sick, and most my life, I was a work-aholic. Like I said it is weird, not only sharing part of the house with others, but those others are my parents. So I am taken care of probably more than I need to by them. I mean it's not like I sit in the basement eating Doritos and playing Atari while my folks watch the kids. That wouldn't fly. I do however have to go places from time to time and get on my 3-wheel scooter and go to town quick for the store or whatever. So obviously there are times my parents watch one or both of the kids. I think that while financially we would struggle to move back out on our own, but I also think that it would be better for all of us, my folks included. This way I could clean my (our) own stuff that I probably got messy anyway. Would
get my own supplies, vacuum and laundry among several other things. We will see. This was as much
a vent, personal discussion, and "chat" with myself and my wife once she reads it, that I needed.

     Any suggestions on not being lazy and or how to be a good and productive stay at home daddy??
I would enjoy doing laundry and cleaning up. I do enjoy being with my kids. I do enjoy being home at night with Sarah. I do enjoy being with my family when for, well basically forever I worked at least 5 nights a week and everybody was in bed by the time I got home. With old schedules pre-illness I would rarely be able to go straight to bed because I usually wasn't then tired enough to sleep. I would stay up and catch some TV. Or, about two years ago I was in school getting my marketing degree and all but one class was on-line so most of my schoolwork was done from bar close to well, whenever in the early AM. Needless to say mornings sucked! And my 'days off' I was usually up earlier than planned and was tired all day. I guess getting sick was a blessing on my sleep.. Kidding. But it has changed. I get tired early, and am ready for bed really early, even on the weekends. Sarah and my schedule are actually relatively close now for the first time in like 7 years! Weird..
     Alright, thanks for listening everyone. Feel better about several things. I know I jumped all over here today, but I am home 'alone' with the pets and the daughter so I needed some adult time here :)


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