Saturday, February 28, 2015


How can I ever forget my first time. Maybe your experience was similiar, more or less dramatic perhaps, but new nonetheless.
In my mind I have waited patiently for a long, long time for this day. "No you're not ready" and "you just need a little more patience" was not going to be said to me any more. We have been together for awhile now and we've tried before but never got very far but this so-called 'practice' is for the birds. Now our wait was over. I have gone over these moves time and time again in my mind hoping that these memories I've made will lead to perfection of how to start, continue and finish. I really don't want to mess this up, because who knows, it could be a lost opportunity for lord knows how long if I were to do it wrong. We have a brief discussion, a self pep-talk of sorts, maybe it was my nerves, or maybe it was me trying to act totally cool, but probably both. We were finally alone. It was the perfect time for this special moment. So here I go, my goal in front of me, like a unwrapped gift, a precious award, and a feeling of want and desire all wrapped into one all at the same time. My initial attempt started off great, no awkward feelings or pressure, it felt comfortable and warm and my anxiousness was fading while my anticipation was gaining. I was happy I didn't just jump right in  from overconfidence or gidiness. I would close my eyes to remind myself how I mentally had done this over and over and over. Feeling confident I then open my eyes to this beautiful sight - both visually how amazing everything looked and the physical and emotional feeling in what was being accomplished. The great pleasure I felt was even better becuase I felt them same embrace, as if there was a unique bond never experienced before, sharing what was happening for the very first time and that I for one, was proud, very happy and sure of myself. Although I wasn't quite finished, I could sense the end was near. I tried the best I could to not rush things, savor this perfect time, not to miss a mental or physical step, not to screw this up now as this entire experience has been terrific. I'm hoping to stay as relaxed as possible and allow this to come to its epic and fulfilling end as nature intended. Messing anything up now is not an option becuase I do not want to start over, disappointed, embarrassed, and worse still, not knowing when I could try again. Here it is, one last move, I can do it... YES, I did it, no WE did it, and we did it right! I gave a fist pump to myself and didn't really care if I looked silly or what expression remained on my face. I just sat there for a few extra moments impressed to what I've accomplished and looked down once more at the beauty that lay there. Now it was time..

To put on my other shoe.

Weirdos :)


1 comment: