Friday, March 6, 2015

One years time

A year ago this weekend I felt terrible. Couldn't figure out what was wrong so on the 9th, which was a Sunday we went to the ER. Was sent home after a prescription pick up that didn't help at all. We went back to Westfields for Sarah's scheduled check up for Scarlett-to-be two days later. Our doctor looked at me and  immediately sent me to be looked at and I was given oxygen and several tests. I was so tired and out of breath I couldn't manage to do much at all. I remember two of my friends stopped in to check on me, not really knowing the seriousness and asked me if I wanted a drink, as they had brought a small bottle in. It was a joke, and it was amusing, but I wasn't able to acknowledge much else. I guess a nurse got concerned and asked if I "needed" a drink, like I had a major problem, but it really was all in fun. Ryan came to visit but other than a few pictures I don't really remember him being with me. What I thought was later that evening, it actually turned out to be two days later I was given a 2nd opinion and was ordered to be sent to Regions via ambulance. I believe it was snowing and the medics were nice and kept talking to me, possibly to make sure I stayed awake, but I have no idea. There was no way to know at this time what the next few hours, days, months and now 1 years time would involve.  Still can't imagine what Sarah went through watching me basically unresponsive every day for so long, having to change the birth plans, wondering if her first born would have a father, if she herself would ever have her husband again and whether Ryan would lose his dad forever as well as if he would even be a part of his new sister and Sarah's life any longer. At Ryan's school today he had 'dad's day' and part of it was to tell eachother what we were proud of and he said he was proud of me for being so strong in the hospital.
I started writing my blog August 31, a day before my 39th birthday. I was feeling a little better and wanted to have a journal of sorts, while self-helping myself get through some things. I think this has worked relatively well for me 6+ months later. Monday I have another check up at Fairview Hospital. I started taking my Intraconazole nearly one year ago, and my Doctor thinks, without any set backs I will be able to stop taking this medication. This will drop 6 pills a day and the food that I am supposed to eat when I take them. These are exciting events!  It hit me on Wednesday that a year has now come and it was strangely emotional. I really couldn't understand how I was feeling.. Relieved of course, but I think scared that a year ago I nearly died and not sure if my Blasto is completely gone. It was a strange feeling and I couldn't explain it so I called Sarah into the kitchen and gave her a big hug. While I am sure my doctor will tell me that I have recovered enough to stop taking these meds, and I am continuing to heal, I know I have a long way to still go. I am looking forward to the rest of 2015 and the changes that will come, hopefully including me personally to continue to get stronger. By the end of the summer I will be turning 40, and I will need to realize that the process won't be any easier! Thanks for continuing your support by reading my blog.


No comments:

Post a Comment