Monday, February 9, 2015

Good luck charm

After a few days in the hospital Sarah brought me a good luck charm. While for the longest time I couldn't manage to do anything but open my eyes, where I would see a few different pictures and some warming gifts around my room. The one thing that I remember seeing every day, that I was awake, was this artificial shamrock plant. I didn't know this at the time but one of my nurses freaked out because Sarah brought in this plant, telling her that she couldn't bring in a real plant into my room. From the first time I saw this plant I had this weird obsession with it. Partially because I wanted to drink the water from it as it looked extremely refreshing. Of course there wasn't water in there, but the bottom of the ceramic plant holder always looked wet, like water was forming in the base. I always felt thirsty but wasn't able to drink, at least not that I can remember until well after waking from my coma. I went in right before St. Patty's Day which has always been an important holiday to me so this plant had multiple meanings for me. I hadn't missed a St. Patty's Day in New Richmond for years, I would say for at least 20 years if not more. I was usually working, but it was always fun to work on this day anyway, and to me, it had the best parade of the year. Three years ago it was about 80 degrees and then two years ago we had freezing temps and 4' of snow on the ground and while this past year, well I don't have any idea. We had a little party in our room on this day and I would soon be diagnosed with all my treatments to follow along with my weeks of sedation.

["We might just make it. Did that thought ever cross your brain? Well, regardless, I would rather take my chance out there on the ocean than to stay here and die on this shithole island, spending the rest of my life talking.....To A Goddamn Volleyball!"
This was Tom Hanks' character Chuck Noland in his movie Cast Away talking to his only friend Wilson, a volleyball that washed to shore during his 4 years alone on an island after his plane crashed in the ocean.]

While our situations were different, there was some similarities. While Mr. Noland was stranded alone, and his only companion wasn't a living thing, he had to fight for his life of starvation among other things. I had constant visitors between staff and family, but there were times I did feel alone and wondered if I would ever get out of my bed alive. Every day I opened my eyes, there was always this plant. No, I didn't name it, or have a conversation with it that I knew of, (those were left to other objects in my room:) but it was there, every day. Sarah made sure it came with to each room I was moved to, and to each hospital. It is the only object that we brought home that I see everyday, as it sits on our windowsill. Nice reminder to myself of how such small things can make such big impacts.

I was planning on waiting until St. Patty's to write this story, but I seem to be seeing the plant more and more these days, and now just feels like the time to do so. Hope you enjoyed.