Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Hospital (ongoing)

Hey folks, I titled this 'ongoing' because I think I'll plan on using this topic to post multiple stories from my time staying in my hospitals. I've got at least a dozen stories, whether I write about them all here or not I have yet to decide. I hope not to offend any people or gross any one out with these stories, but this is how I remember things while at my time recovering at Bethezda. Some stories I laugh about, some make me angry, some make me want to cry. Some are too disturbing I'm not sure if I'm ready to re-live them. I keep repeating here that these are stories, because most of them never happened. Whether I dreamed about them while asleep, awake, or in the middle I'm not sure, but I remember them nonetheless. Because of all my time being sedated and all the drugs I was on and still am on, I struggled with and still have struggled with some post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). The doctors were, and still are aware that this should happen and ask if I want medication and or counseling. Well I feel like I have a grasp on reality and know whats real or not real so no shrinks for this guy. Once again, this is as much for myself as it is for my family and friends. Hope you enjoy..

In no particular order..

1.  This one is true.
So it's early May. I wake up in the middle of the night. It's late and dark outside and it's storming out, nothing bad, just a storm and I felt kind of relaxed by it. Then it hits me.. where in the fuck am I !??!
Shit, shit shit, where am I? I'm thinking how drunk did I get last night? I don't even remember drinking.. Holy Christ, I'm dead, Sarah is going to kill me, after she cuts my nuts off. OK, think.. where is my phone, I can't find it. Who the hell's bed am I in? OMG I'm a married man, what am I doing here, where? Ok, don't move, think, think..Where is my phone, any phone, my keys, my clothes... Then I hear some talking in the next room. Oh fuck, I'm screwed, 'she' is coming back to bed. Ok, play dead, or at least asleep, maybe I'll figure out a way out of this. (Now I should probably back up here a little and say, back 'in the day' this wouldn't be so far fetched from something I may have gotten myself into.) I'm frozen, not sure if I could move if I had to (weird) so I'm going to stay here quiet and still as long as I can. Maybe this chick will leave and I can sneak out and figure the rest out later. I don't know where I am let alone where my car is or even what I drove, I just gotta get out of here and hope to find my phone and deal with the consequences then. I hear more talking now in the hallway, I'm terrified. Then a light comes on where she is and I can barely see her appearing to get dressed. Ok, she's getting dressed, maybe she's leaving soon and I can get out of here. Then I see a little more of her and notice she's a nurse. I'm like, where the hell did I meet a nurse? God I drank way too much.. Well, shortly after that she comes into the room, oh shit, I'm so screwed and busted, and then she walks to the bed and.... checks my vital signs.. God damn it was a freaking dream and this 'chick' is my nurse! I'm sleeping in my hospital bed like I'm supposed to! Nice! God I'm an idiot! Then I peed myself and had to call 'the chick' back in to change me.. awkward !




  1. Ok, thank you! No tears, just a big giggle!

  2. Turned out to be probably my first laugh - after it was over :)