Monday, December 22, 2014

Hopsital Communications/Recovering

No dream here..

When I was trying to recover in Bethezda I had asked Sarah numerous times about her bringing me my phone. My cell phone(s) has been embarrassingly rather important to me up to this point for the past 14 years. I think I have mentioned this before, but she didn't bring me it because I wasn't able to use it. While my muscles were extremely weak, my shaking and cognitive physical ability was worse. I couldn't have used my iPhone if I wanted to. I couldn't write, drink on my own or do much anything else with my hands let alone use or even hole a cell phone. After several days Sarah had told me that she was going to bring me my iPad for me. Up to this time, I had really never used any iPad, let alone my own. Honestly I didn't even know why I had one. I wasn't much interested in having her bring it to me, I just wanted my phone. I used it for texts, email and seldom FB along with Internet use, as I seldom used a computer for anything anymore than these things. I eventually agreed to having her bring the iPad. Maybe it was after I tried multiple times and different ways to call her with the hospital phone. One time one of my Doctors brought me in a landline phone for me to use and he dialed Sarah's number. I was pretty messed up and was wondering if I was being lied to about the call, but I finally did get ahold of her. I don't really recall why I needed to talk to her, I think I thought something was wrong, something like the time of the day/night it was from what I remember. Not sure, my doctor was nice though, nonetheless. Once Sarah brought me the iPad I didn't really use it for anything. Maybe I didn't understand or realize that an iPad did the same if not more than my phone could do. Didn't really matter, I wanted to check texts, respond and start reading and responding to the FB page she started for "Mikes Progress" and a few other things like ESPN. Clearly I was in no condition to do any of this, as it never worked. I couldn't figure out anything out correctly and it was very frustrating.

Once I started 'using' the iPad I would get calls from Sarah at night (ok, I have no idea when she would contact me) but I think it was always night and she would 'call' me on FaceTime. Now, I don't want to sound like I am complaining, but my iPad felt like it was about 60 pounds. I was clumsy as hell, fingers barely worked and the iPad felt like it weighed a ton. I bet at least every other time if I even could pick it up I couldn't 'swipe' it open or type in my password. It was completely aggravating but I tried to hide my feelings. Sarah would talk to me on FaceTime, many times with Scarlett and I was grouchy and irritated about how difficult it was to answer. I knew it was selfish and felt bad, but I just really couldn't help it. I couldn't sleep, move, eat, go to the bathroom among other things and all Sarah wanted to do was say hi and show me our daughter and I was complaining about my own problems. Once I figured it out a little better, it became very valuable. Thank you so much for theis donation of this iPad. I now use it all the time, more than my cell phone!!

Now, that FaceTime ringtone I hear from time to time it gives me the shivers.


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